chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
