Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
