i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
