You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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