You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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