During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
