Im at strip club and am horny
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
