Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
