I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
