He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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