Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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