Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
