How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Text me some of your sweat
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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