it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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