Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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