You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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