yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize