My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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