nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
