Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
