Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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