Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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