I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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