I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
