the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
