you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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