whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I look better un-naked...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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