Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
