it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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