i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
