Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
