yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I still have a little drunk in my system
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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