I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
