I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize