All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
