i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
