I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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