To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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