Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
