At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
