There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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