i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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