The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize