hotel room ftw
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
