I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
