please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
