I wanna passion pit in your ass
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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