at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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