its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize