Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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