you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
