Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
