I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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