I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
