So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
