He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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