had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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