I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
