is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
