just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
false alarm, still single
Randomize