i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
