I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
