I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize