You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
