can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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