Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
