Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
