his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
