Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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