I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
