Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
