i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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