I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
