I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
pop tarts are not kleenex
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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