Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
